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Becoming
Illegal
(Actual letter from an Oregon resident sent to his
Senator)
The Honorable Wyden
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone
(202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Wyden,
As a
native Oregonian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am
writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of
Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an
illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing
to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill
which was recently passed by the
Senate and for which you voted. If my
understanding of this bill is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in
the United States for
five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to
pay a $2,000
fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I
know a
good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process
started
before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who
have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I’m excited about
the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000
fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This
would yield an
excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy
taxes in
2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could
begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once
I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I
could
save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal
status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment
relative to her law school
applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates
for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I
understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of renewing my
driver’s license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums. This is
very important to me, given that I still
have college age children driving my
car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
forms,
I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your
assistance
Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach “illegal alien”
status rather
than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Dale B.
Rilyeu
Lebanon, Or