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Some golf funnies from old dad

Posted by Buygold @ 9:53 on December 6, 2020  

1.     I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over swimming pool..

~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett

2.     Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Sports Writer Jim Murray

3.    The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.

~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle

4.     Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.

~  Actor Kevin Costner

5.      I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.
~  PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

6.      After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

7.      The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

~  Tom Weiskopf


8.       My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered
.
~ Lord Robertson

9.        Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

~ Jack Benny

10.      There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

11.       Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus

12.       I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham

13.       If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
~ Bob Hope

14.       While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
~ Henny Youngman

15.       If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

~ Jack Lemmon

16.       You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

~ Lee Trevino

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Post by the Golden Rule. Oasis not responsible for content/accuracy of posts. DYODD.