Loading ...From: flopsy [(mopsy and tailes)]
Date: 25-Dec-2011 10:33
Twas the Night before Updates Poem
A series of rewritten poems that are better:
By Mopsy
Twas the night before Updates, late on the floor
Not a poster was stirring, not even a bore.
The last comments were typed by the chimney with care,
In hopes that lazy fuck Duder soon would be there.
The few sane ones were nestled all snug in their beds,
While trolls of fecal-plums still danced on the threads.
And mamma with her ‘ripple’, and I with my bong,
Had just fried our brains and were gettin along.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I put my dick back in my pants to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tapped out my bong and lit up the hash.
The cum on the breast of the porn I had seen
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects on screen.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a new set of stories so I opened a beer.
The little old driver, he had was not quick,
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
More vapid than news Foxes the nitwits they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now Jethro ! now, cracker! now, Pouncy you Vixen!
On, Crummy! On, fiendo!, on Dufus and dickman!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now jump up and and down and try not to fall”
As dry heaves that before the vomitus fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top, with whiskey they flew,
With the sleigh full of updates, and the Duder too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard gays on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little poof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Duder came with a bound.
He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of sex Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like the homeless, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His buttcheeks were out and he wasn’t no cherry!
His lipstick smeared mouth was drawn up like a ho,
And the cocaine on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stem of a rose he held tight in those cheeks,
And if he had anymore he would look like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed,like petroleum jelly!
He was a nerd and a chump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, then shit myself!
A wink of his eye and a look just like lead,
Soon gave me to know he liked really good head.
He spoke not a word, after 10 days with no work,
And filled all the threads, then called me a jerk.
While sticking his thumb at he end of nose,
And giving a raspberry this job he knows blows !
He sprang to his sleigh, and gave a wolf whistle,
And away they all flew like the poof of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘and remember my plight,
“Get a life all you stupid asshooooles…”
Poetry aint what it used to be !
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